Come Undone

9 am has come and gone. I didn’t go and see Ayu after all although I wanted to as much as I can. Even my assistant noticed my restlessness this morning, I was like sitting, standing, sit again then got up again pointlessly. But I still remember Fizz’s text at 3.09am this morning while I was fast asleep, “Zul, you may do anything you want in the world, except hurting yourself i.e. meeting her.” On top of that, I will always remember what Ayu once said, “but me tunang orang dah”. I know I kept on saying that phrase but it is such a powerful quote. I’m just not ready to see her just yet. If I had to bump into her, let it just be a hi and a bye.

I’m going for an interview tomorrow morning for a different position within the firm, better pay and if I should get this job, I won’t have to deal directly with Ayu’s office anymore although I would still be in the same building. I’m not hoping to get this job though, coz I know there are other candidates who are worth the job than me. But I’m just going to try out my luck. No harm in trying kan.