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Memoirs of a Broken Heart
Sometimes it feels good to look back at our past life especially if we know that we’re not going to live long in this world. When we look back, we smile, laugh or even cry remembering all the bitter sweet happenings. Tales of unsuccessful crushes, true friendship, daily pressures at work, etc. But yet, what is life without all those things? As you all know from this blog, especially when you have read it from the very beginning, it is just a little piece of my life. Although not much and messy as it is, it is still my life. And I have come to learn to appreciate and cherish every moment of it until we drew the last breath and move on to the next.
When I looked back at myself before this blog, it made me smile remembering how my life was back in those days. How I am always surrounded by wonderful friends who are now living their own life, some who already settled down and have kids yet our bond is always intact. How friends come and go. How love ones lived and died. How love is proven to be very powerful. How people can have a crush on their own best friend. How I travelled a lot and moving from one place to another. It was so full of ups and downs like a roller coaster, but I have no regrets in living it.
You see, I am not new to blogging. Years ago, I used to have 2 blogs which I’d like to call it a Prequel to this current blog. It’s where I journalised my routines, what I did, where I went, what I felt. While some entries in there was basically carried forward to this blog, but I think it is time for me to share it as a gift for my loyal readers. For now I will just share one of them. Finish it first and I will release the earlier prequel.
So here it is. It was called Vain Enterprise. Happy reading.
Test test
If I go to heaven, I want you to be happy. I want you to carry on with your life like you always do before I came. Spend quality time with your friends, travel and see how beautiful God created this world.
If I go to heaven, I will ask God to send you a guardian angel. I will ask God to send you someone who can love and care for you far better than I do. Someone who has a strong and unbreakable heart. Someone who will never disappoint you, someone who can always be there for you, someone who will never fly leaving you lonely. Someone who will always keep you company anytime you need one.
If I go to heaven, I want to watch over you everytime. Watch you everytime you wake up, watch you everytime you work, watch you everytime you take a nap, watch you everytime you eat, watch you everytime you sleep.
But wait. What if I go to hell?
Memoirs of a Broken Heart
My baby. I know by know you must have hated me. Hated me for having a weak and fragile heart. Hated me for not giving things another try. Hated me for being weak. Hated me for being silent. Hated me for ignoring you.
My baby. I don’t even know why is this happening. I am in a mess which I don’t even know how to get out of it. I’ve been wandering all day and night not knowing where to go, under the sun, under the rain. Purely a complete mess.
My baby. I don’t know for how long I will survive this cruel world. How I wish your face will be the last I see if I should die. How I wish to hold you when I drew my last breath. But I know that is not going to happen. It’s all because of me, my own foolishness, my own weakness.
My baby. I miss your laughter, your voice, your giggles. I will never ever forget everything about you. Things might be short-lived but this broken heart will always have you written on it.
My baby. I don’t know what else to say, except I love you. RHM.
ps. a song for you.
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