Hi! Just call me Zul (bukan nama sebenar!) although I know some friends are so used to call me with that name. Heheh! I am just an ordinary person, nothing much special about me. I don’t have the looks of Brad Pitt or Orlando Bloom, not the type a person that would make a woman say “Whoaaaaaaaa!” when they first saw me. But I’m not saying I’m ugly either hehe. Not bragging but yea, I am happy for who I am and what God has given me. Syukurtah apa yang ada kan. Simple me, simple dress code, simple appearance.

I’m not going to spend gigabytes on telling about me. Straight to the point, this blog is designed to share my innermost feelings and desires in terms of love and people around me. Woman! yes they are a gift of God especially made for men, just like God created Eve to accompany Adam. They are meant to be loved and treated with tender and care. Some men out there treated women nothing more than just a medium to satisfy their grotesque lust. Pop the cherry, leave and tell their friends how good or bad the woman was on bed. Kiss and tell! A cruel behaviour without realising the karma that it might happen to their own daughter one day.

In my life, women came and go. They brought happiness and might just take it away soon afterwards. Some were taken away from me and I accepted the fact that they were not meant for me. Losing the people I love is nothing new to me, it’s just like closing a chapter of a book before moving on to the next.

If I were to detail the story of each and every one of the women of my life, I will first need a publisher to offer me good money for my writings! Haha… It’s not that I’ve been with lots of women, but yea, quite a handful, despite the fact that I am not that good-looking heheh!

For now, I’d just share some significant stories, especially about someone named Amy. To cut short the story, I used to have a crush on her, but we ended up being good friends coz she had a boyfriend already. 27th November 2005, she passed away in a car accident. Amal, her friend and my good buddy delivered me the devastating news amidst her tears. It was a dark day for me, for all of us, for those who are so dear to Amy. There will be no more of her cheerful smile and giggles. Amal went to her funeral, I couldn’t go, I know I can’t stand looking at her motionless body. Later that night me and Amal agreed to accept the fact that Amy is gone. God loves her more and life has to go on.

One and a half year after Amy is gone, I still miss her, sometimes I feel that she’s still around, she will always be around in my heart and mind. Few months ago, a group of new recruits joined our organisation. As a normal ritual, they were given an induction visit to all the offices. I was in my manager’s room when my colleague MJ called me and said, “you gotta see this!”

So I went back to my office and saw 6 newbies and 1 of the girls caught me by surprise. She has the resemblance of the late Amy. Her face, her lips, her hair, even her quietness. Her name is Ayu, hmm 3 letters, just like Amy, begins with the letter A. During the course of her training, everytime I look at Ayu, she reminds me of Amy. I do not mean to compare though, but even her behaviour resembles late Amy.

I started to like Ayu. Months pass by, Ayu became my good chat friend. I know it’s going to be hard for me to be with her coz she’s engaged so I kept my feelings to myself. But I can tell there is a chemistry between us. As days pass by, some intimacy grew and I started to show her some passion, which she accepted with an open heart. I know what we are doing is wrong but heck.. I can’t help myself from loving her.

Ayu knows very well how I felt for her. I love her, she knows that. It’s not because that she resembles late Amy, after all Amy and Ayu are two different persons and for sure Ayu won’t like it if I want to compare her with other people. I love Ayu for who she is. I love her sweet personality. I know we cannot be together but I will always care for her, we know very well there’s a line drawn between us and I know exactly where I stand. I’m sure she treats me and love me as a close friend, nothing more or less, coz that’s how far we can go.

Oh well, I think I’ll just maintain it that way. I don’t want to take someone else’s belonging but that does not stop me from loving Ayu.