When Love Happens......
I want to fly away, far away, leave all the past love behind, leave all those who pretends, start a fresh new life, on my own, my own career, my own apartment. Fly far away and never return, to this land called New Zealand.. where I used to roam before.
Sky Tower as seen from Ponsonby Road
Auckland
Waiheke Island
Rotorua Lake
Queen Street, Auckland, where I used to lepak
Its been a slow week and its only Wednesday. Work has been quite slow with not much activity except some paperwork which needs my boss’ approval. Since he’s been away for the past three days, there’s nothing much I can do. Red tape! This is what happens when there are too many valves in a pipeline.
I remember those days when I used to work in New Zealand, there was no such things as a slow week, not even a slow day. There were just so many things to do. We worked like 10-12 hours a day and people called us ‘those who can do a lot of things at once’. Sigh! I miss those days. And owh..I miss my baby Sab who is still down there.
But despite this unproductive week, it felt good to find time to hang out with Cute Little Hana on lunch hours, also spending a few extra minutes with colleagues during tea breaks. While at night, I am trying to get into the habit of sleeping early, as early as 1130pm! Well yea, that’s considered early to me! I’m having this sleeping disorder lately which already has effects on my health and stamina, not to mention the eyebags.
Starring:
Azrul – the guy
Umi – the girl
Co-starring:
Fadil – the best friend
Azrul and Umi are good friends, however Azrul is crazily in love with Umi. Umi knew about this very well but she loves him as a good friend. But sometimes Umi’s act doesn’t seem to care about Azrul’s feelings. She would talk about other guys as if not realising that it would hurt Azrul. Azrul would just listen to Umi while he swallowed the bitter pill. He did not show any signs of jealousy or bitterness, all for the sake of Umi’s happiness. Although deep inside he’s broken into pieces.
One day, during their usual lunch out, Azrul can’t help himself from expressing his feelings to Umi. He spilled everything to the last drop. It wasn’t a surprise to Umi, she knew very well how Azrul care so much about her. She nicely rejected saying that she can only accept Azrul as a very good friend, nothing more and nothing less. And this was no surprise to Azrul as well, he knew Umi would reject. But by letting it out to Umi, Azrul felt a sense of relief, at least Umi is aware of what’s inside Azrul’s heart.
“No matter what happens, I can only think of you Umi. Only you.”
Azrul sent Umi home, in the car they talk and joke as usual, although Azrul seems to be a bit down.
At home that night, Umi can’t stop thinking about Azrul and what he had told her during dinner. Azrul is a lovely and caring guy, cheerful and humourous. Just the type of man she wants, but Umi can’t understand why she can’t accept Azrul. Umi fell asleep that night with Azrul’s face in her mind.
4 am in the morning, Umi’s handphone rang, she picked it up and suddenly her head felt heavy, as if the world descended on her head. It was a call from Fadil, Azrul’s best friend. Azrul has been involved in a car accident and in in critical condition. Umi’s legs became weak, she can’t hardly stand. Suddenly she burst into tears, crying, crying and crying.
When morning came, Umi’s mom took her to the ICU to have a look at Azrul. Again Umi broke down when she saw Azrul in such a condition, bruises and bandages, respirator on his face, wires and needles, and a slow beep on the screen. Azrul’s family, close friends including Fadil were there. Fadil said the doctor gave a 50/50 chance. Even if Azrul survived, he could suffer amnesia.
Days and weeks. Azrul’s condition is still the same. Umi paid a visit almost everyday, staring at Azrul’s non-improving condition. Deep inside her heart, she prayed for Azrul’s recovery, so she could talk to him, joke with him just like always. And deep inside her heart, she missed Azrul saying, “Azrul sayang Umi”.
Umi can’t help but crying when one day Fadil said Azrul’s condition is getting worse, pulse is getting weaker. She realised that she too, loves Azrul. It’s just that she’s not ready to accept him. She vowed to herself, if ever Azrul recovered, she will express how she feel. Umi realised how much she had hurt Azrul all these time, but no matter what, it didn’t change how Azrul felt for her.
It was a happiest day for Umi when Fadil texted her Azrul is showing some improvements, he’s starting to groan, move his hands and his head although not fully awake yet. His eyes starts to show some movements beneath the eyelids. Umi was in KK when she recieved the good news.
Few days later, as soon as Umi arrived home, she quickly rushed to the hospital. Azrul’s conditions has been improving indeed, although he still can’t sit but at least he can open his eyes and recognise the people who came. When Azrul saw Umi, he closed his eyes and a drop of tear rolled down his cheeks. Umi suddenly felt guilty as hell for all she did to him. But she had vowed not to hurt him again. Ever.
Weeks pass by, Azrul’s recovery is speeding up although he still can’t sit or walk. The wires had been disconnected but the needles are still glued for the liquids to feed him. Umi and Fadil visited him everyday. Umi just wanted to be next to Azrul throughout his recovery, until he is fully recovered.
That night, Azrul didn’t stop staring at Umi, it’s like his eyes were tied to Umi’s. Before Umi left, she kissed Azrul’s forehead. Azrul whispered,
“I love you”
But Umi didn’t say a thing, she wanted to say I love you too, but her mouth was stucked, and to this day Umi does not know why can’t she just say it. That night at home, Umi thought hard on why can’t she express her feelings towards Azrul. And that night Umi made up her mind, she vowed that she will say it to Azrul tomorrow.
She’s very sure now, crystal clear, she loves Azrul, with all her heart!
The next day, Umi cried big time at the hospital.
“I love you, Azrul! I love you! I love you” crying, sobbing, like she lost her mind.
She kept on saying the words amidst her cries, while hugging Azrul’s motionless body, covered with white sheet.
“I love you Azrul!” Umi sobbed. But Azrul can’t hear it, and will never hear it!
Sometimes love happens when it’s already too late.
Sometimes love happens when you least expect it to happen. Sometimes we only realise it when it’s already too late. I, on some occasions, let love passed by me when it is already in front of me without knowing it. And that is the time when I realised that I have busted an opportunity.
“My love, I see you almost everyday. I talk with you, joke with you, cry with you. Over the years, we have talked about almost anything, about you and about me. And after all these years, only today I realised that I care so much for you. Why now my love?”
Sometimes, love are meant to be hidden. Kept under our tongue like a sweet suicide pill. It is sweet like a candy, but there will be time it will turn bitter and venomous. Love is a poison. I have been repeating this phrase since this blog started. But hey, love happens. And when love happens, we don’t care anymore of our surroundings. It’s like walking in paradise while hellfire is just beneath, so we gotta watch our steps.
“The glimpse of you makes my day. To hear your voice, it send me to high clouds. To see the way you eat, it makes me smile. But my love, we are not meant to be together. Sooner or later, the time will come that I have to leave you. One thing I ask for when that should happen, please do not cry. For I just want you to know that I will always love you.”
Just when you thought our internet connection in Brunei sucks, well we better stop complaining coz I’ve experienced worse! I’ve been flying to a few places in our immediate neighbouring county and believe me the internet is much much much worse! There are wireless hotspots basically everywhere, well established cafes, restaurants, public lounge, but almost most of them are literally useless. It took ages to connect, wasting the juices out of my laptop for nothing. And once I’m on the net, the connection intermittently disconnects itself causing hiccups to my workflow.
You see, I’m living out of a suitcase, flying here and there to see clients and suppliers. This is one of the reasons why I don’t blog that often nowadays. My work 90% relies on the Internet. No connection means a reasonable, if not significant loss to my time and the business. Sigh!
Anyway, I’m feeling like flashbacking now. 6 years ago, I used to work in New Zealand for a period of time. The environment, the atmosphere, the people, made me think New Zealand is just the right place that I can call a second home. Even though the work was stressful, there are always so many things to do and places to go to wind down after a hard day’s work. The people around me were incredibly fun and friendly. On weekends we would drive to places like Rotorua or Taupo and spend the weekend by the lake or the mountains.
Why am I flashbacking now? Somehow I miss New Zealand. I miss my lovely friends down there. I miss my cosy little apartment where I used to stay. I miss that little car I used to drive around with. I miss the office and breakfast at McCafe across. I miss the lake and the graceful swans. I miss the icy mountains. I miss the sheep. I miss those good ol’ days. Those good ol’ days that I am looking forward to re-visit.
Now this is a quick one. There’s a man, he left his first wife while she was pregnant, just to marry another woman. The poor wife went to see this new woman but she can’t even mutter a single word, except crying and gesturing to her abdomen. Much to her disappointment, the new woman does not seem to care, instead she proceeded marrying this guy.
Years later, the guy got bored of the 2nd girl, he left her. And now he’s in a relationship with another new girl. Everybody has been telling her not to be with this guy, but she doesn’t seems to listen. Looks like somebody is going to fall as another victim.
My sincere condolences to the families of those who lost their lives in the recent flash flood and landslide incident. Also to those who are affected by the natural disaster. As for me, the blackouts were enough to send me like sleeping in a sauna. But thank God I wasn’t really much affected, but I feel those who are. Now, what are we going to do the next time this happens?
Ok, on to the next scenario. There’s a couple. Loving and caring, they’ve been together for 2 years plus. This guy, he was like the most loving, caring, passionate, you name it guy in the whole wide world. He would do anything for the girl, everything. Basically he’s the type of guy every woman wants to be with. Perfect!
Their relationship was full of sweet moments, never a second in it was a moment of sadness, sorrow and complications. The relationship was just perfect to the max. And the girl, of course she would be the happiest woman on God’s green earth. Then suddenly, one day, the girl came across a photoblog of a local wedding photographer and saw a set of pre-wedding photos of a couple. Guess who the guy was? It’s him, her so-called loving boyfriend.
The photos were so romantic and sweet, the guy seems to be extremely happy with her bride-to-be, this is enough to shatter the girlfriend’s heart. So can’t help herself from texting him.
“Congratulations. Nice pics, romantic usulnya.”
“What pics?” the guy replied.
Hmm, how typical. ‘Deny everything’ is a man’s motto.
“The prewedding pics. Thank you for breaking my heart.” the girl texted again.
The guy simply replied,
“I’m sorry. You know we can’t be together now. Good bye.”
Easy as that, breaking hearts is just like dropping a little piece of glass on the floor, shattered into tiny little pieces and then walk away!
Happy Birthday Fizzy, wish you many happy returns and all the best in your endeavours. Have a blast. Thanks for being the person who can understand me inside and outside, through high tides and low tides. With love. -Z-
p/s I’ll be back with hotter scenarios.
this short message on MSN from someone ratherly close to me, have got me curious. what was it to tell me about?
*******************
hello peeps! been awhile i didnt update anything on this blog. depsite having my own, sometimes i just have nothing to talk about. i’ve been watching, and been approving some comments that went straight to the spam inbox. afterall, im just the co-writer and Zul have more interesting stories to talked about 
i’ve been out and about. and busy with work, on the other hand. though it didnt stop me from going abroad for few days.. just for some personal leisure. out there, with a friend of mine, young guys or men, cant stop making a hit on us. they gave us free drinks, phone numbers, dinner treats and so on. as if we’re the most available hot single ladies.
back home, no such thing will ever happen. seriously, what happen here? are they mostly either married, very very unavailable or just plain… no guts to do so?
probably just they way they did it doesn’t impress me at all..
Tonight, there will be parties and barbeques everywhere. When it is almost midnight. countdowns can be heard, followed by the crackling of colourful fireworks. Beer cans snappled with a fizz and the dancefloor smell of booze. Tonight, boys and girls danced all night long, hugging and kissing, teenage girls dressed enough to cover their nipples, buttocks and groin. Youngsters will forget about how their parents are worried like hell about them at home. And by 3am, men will take advantage of their drunken girlfriends to satisfy their own needs. And by tomorrow morning, they will be gone leaving their girlfriends pregnant.
However you might want to spend your New Year’s eve, I wish you all a prosperous and successful new year ahead.
Hehe, I was watching this Indonesian horror movie on DVD which reminds of the last scenario I posted. Its titled “Tiren” or the short form of Mati Kemaren. In the movie, this girl caught her boyfriend in his room snogging with the girl’s own friend. She left the room and ran, fell down the stairs, hit her head and died on the spot.
Panicked, the boyfriend and his affair took a short cut out of the problems by dumping the body in a bush. The body was discovered and later buried. The girl’s father vowed to seek revenge and during the burial, he purposely tied the shroud head string of the corpse. Legend has it that if the strings of a shrouded dead person isn’t loosened, the corpse will come to life. So yea, the girl did came back for those who betrayed her.
Oh well, just another horror story! Of course, for a girl, the most horrific part for her would be the moment she saw her man fucking another girl before her very eyes.
A guy and a girl have been together for quite some time, in fact they’re engaged. Wherever they go, they’re like the most loving couple ever. Sharing everything, the same passion, even wear the same t-shirt when they go out. Basically, perfect couple.
Until one day, during lunchtime, the girl dropped by the guy’s place, the guy was on leave. The girl walked in, nobody was home. Of course, she knows her way around the house, so yea. The guy’s car was in the garage so he must be home, sleeping maybe. Days on vacation are usually the best time to stay up late and sleep the whole day.
The girl went upstairs to the guy’s room. Pushed the door, and much to her horror, saw the guy, her fiance, on his bed with another woman, cuddling each other like a pair of hairless kittens.
Need I say more, I’m sure everybody knows how the girl would feel. So put yourself in the girl’s shoes and share your thoughts!
The theatre was cold, the movie was boring. A girl was watching the movie with her lover next to her. The slow and boring movie was enough to make her sleepy, especially after a long day at work. The guy wrapped his arms around her to keep her warm.
“Sleepy?” he whispered.
“Yea, and its cold.” she replied.
The guy took her hands and snug it with his fingers. Her hands was cold alright. The guy hugged her comfortably and took her head to lean against his, softly kissing the baby hair on her forehead, while his other hand still grasping hers and rubbing it softly to make her hands warm.
Err.. I don’t know what I am actually talking about here. Heheh. But what would you feel if you were the girl?
Let’s take a break from the scenarios for a while, it’s my dearest little sis Cute Little Hana’s birthday. Wishing you all the best, success and health, and enjoy your special day with a blast. Hope you like the little gift although it’s nothing much yea. Don’t worry, more gifts will come your way, makan at fancy restaurant, movies, designer items, a Boeing 787 painted in 7 rainbow colours with LV logo on it’s tail, 15 million dollars, etc, etc. Hahah!
And of course, having me as a brother is the most special gift of all no? Kan? Kan? Kan? Hahaha majal!
Oh yea, I was with Cute Little Hana last weekend when we met Late Amy’s sisters and father. I was like…awwwwwwwww…
Well, I don’t want to feel sad on Cute Little Hana’s special day, so yea, once again, enjoy your day yea. Much Love.
Thank you for your feedback on the previous post. I guess I have nothing much to say as everyone has expressed their ideas and facts about the scenario. From now on, I will share some scenarios as a food for thought to everyone. Anyway, wishing everyone Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha.
Ok, here’s another scenario. A guy and a girl, ex-couples. To make things easy, just imagine me and Ayu. Well, the guy is still willing to accept the girl as a friend, although the girl has broke the guy’s heart big big time. So yea, one day they decided to meet up at work, you know.. lama udah inda jumpa kan, so being friends I think it’s nothing wrong seeing each other for a while, catching up on things, bla bla bla.
So the girl text the guy up,
“Me otw udah.”
“Ok on my way too..” the guy replied.
The guy came first and waited at the meeting point, outside a small lounge where employees rest. The girl came, said hi and said,
“Kajap ah, kan ke admin kajap check my cuti.”
So she went into one of the offices. The guy waited. 10 minutes later the girl came out, passing by the guy and said,
“Kajap ah, kan ambil barang arah si anu..”
The guy waited, still excited to see the girl. Then she came again, passed by the guy again,
“Kajap ah, kan jumpa Puan anu kajap.”
The guy waited, patiently, still with flowery hopes to have a quick chat with the girl. Tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu, bulan tara ada timbul lahhh. It was a hot day, the guy went inside the aircon-ed lounge instead of waiting outside. So he texted the girl.
“Me dalam lounge k!”
And guess what the girl replied,
“Me otw ke hospital udah kan appointment doctor, kan mtg lgi kul 3.”
Disappointed big time, the guy replied,
“Me tgu2 eh dari tadi.”
She simply said,
“Sori ah, lain kli sja tani jumpa ah, bye take care.”
The guy didn’t reply, upset and disappointed that he had wasted his time coming over for nothing.
So readers, again your feedback is highly appreciated. There’s a continuation to this short story though but I’ll save it for later.
Ladies,
I have a little scenario here to share.
One girl applied for loan from a bank. So yea she filled in the form and submitted the necessary paperworks, yada yada yada.. so yea, she went back home after completing all the formalities.
Then out of the blues, some guy contacted her through text message with the intention of ‘getting to know her’, kan berkenalan nya orang. Surprised, the girl asked him how did he get her number, her name, et al. The guy didn’t want to tell at first, but the girl persuaded.
And at last he revealed himself, he was actually one of the workers from the bank where the girl applied for loan. He saw her at the bank and hence digged into the girl’s personal data, or shall I say CONFIDENTIAL data just to get her number. Obviously there’s more than just contact numbers available in her file, her birthday, her address, even her salary and earnings are accessibile for the guy.
Ok fine. Just to be nice and not to be mean, the girl layan layan saja. What’s wrong with making friends right? The guy kept on texting and calling her quite regularly. But then the girl had the shock of the century when this guy suddenly wanted to be serious in their relationship, after only SIX (6) days of texting or calling!!
Well, of course, the girl did freaked out!
Question: So what type of man do you ladies make of this guy?
Your comments and feedback is highly appreciated. Thank you
26th November 2008, it’s been 3 years since Late Amy left us, yet everything is still fresh in my mind. On that dark afternoon, I was sitting in front of my PC doing some work. Amal called me, crying, telling me the news. I just couldn’t believe it, I was speechless.. totally speechless. I picked up Amal from work and she was crying all the way while I could not utter a single word. Later that night, we opened our hearts to accept the hard fact. Allah loves Amy more than we do, and life has to go on. May Allah bless Amy.
29th November 2008, it was Amal’s birthday. No celebration this year, I texted her but she didn’t reply until now, I wonder where is she. 3 years ago, we held a celebration, not a grand one though, just gathered our close friends and had dinner under Amal’s treat. It was somewhat a somber night especially when one of the seat was reserved for Late Amy. Amal cried again and I gave her a hug. I bought her roses to cheer her up, and later that night she was a happy girl when I sent her home. Now when I thought of those good ol’ days, I cam feel the space between me and her.
1st December 2008, it was Late Amy’s birthday. She could have been 23 years old now. But she didn’t even make it for her 20th birthday.
And also happy birthday to my Star and Rainbow, many happy returns dear.
I guess the past week has got significant dates for me huh.. Not to mention my Cute Little Hana’s birthday coming up too. Looks like there’s going to be a celebration, I accompanied her pre-ordering her cake yesterday. She’s been a company to me lately, at work, MSN, text messages, as usual with our craziness and jokes. As always, she never failed to cheer my day.
Hello people, I know its been a month plus since I last updated. For that, my sincerest apologies hehe. Things has been pretty packed for a while now, with all work and travels. Nothing much major going on during Hari Raya, except that I gained few extra kilos even though I didn’t go out much except visiting close relatives.
Also, I haven’t been in touch much with my girls, except Cute Little Hana whom I chat with or see almost every day, and at times Fizz. And out of the blues, reds, greens, Ayu surfaced on MSN telling me she’s confused about this new boyfriend of hers whom she just knew for 2 months. I asked her why she dumped her ex-fiance for the second time, she said she just don’t want to be with him. I told her off, you’ve been hurting people all these while, her ex-boyfriend, her ex-fiance. (not to mention me), so I won’t be surprised if you got hurt. Karma! What you give, you will get in return. She went offline abruptly after that. Haha! What a piece!
I know I am mean for telling her off. It’s just me, I’ve been very frank and raw lately, especially when I dislike something. I guess its a habit from my scope of work and I think I kinda like it heheh!
This year, my Hari Raya was spent mostly on bed. I fell ill on the last day of fasting, somehow it was good that the moon was “not sighted” although on that night, malam raya, I saw the crescent just the way I always saw it on the evening of the first day of raya. Some elder eyes said the moon was 2 days old. Oh well, its up to the authorities to decide anyway, we as loyal subjects can only obey and follow what was announced on TV. Apa-apa pun, raya tetap raya.
Back to my illness, I reported sick on the last day of puasa, so yea, 5 days off for me, but too bad it was spent on bed for almost 2 days. The eve of Hari Raya, as always, with the harmonious recital of the Takbir filling the serene atmosphere, I thought of Amy. How could I ever forget that night, 3 years ago, me and her made peace after some complications in our friendship. I still remember how we didn’t talk for quite some time, to the extent of brushing shoulders without even saying ‘Hi’. She was a lovely girl, but I just don’t know what went wrong, I guess things just changed after I confessed my feelings for her.
So that malam raya 2005, I sent SMS greetings to almost every Muslim friend in my phonebook including her. I never expected her to reply me coz I know she must have hated me. But no, Amy was such a gracious girl and she would never hate anyone. In fact, she was the first one to reply to my text. I still remember every single word, with the short forms and all,
“Zul, ku kan minta maaf dari ujung rambut ke ujung kaki sal nda betagur sma u langsung. Slmt ri raya!”
So I replied,
“It’s ok Amy, lupakan tah yg sudah2. Friends?”
“Yeah, friends! (”,)”
And we became friends once again, as usual texting each other and all, until that tragic day few weeks after that, just 3 days before her 20th birthday, when I already bought her a card that never reached her hands. That day when she succumbed in a tragic car accident, Allah took Amy back to where she belong. We were shocked, devastated. I can’t believe the news when Amal called me amidst her tears. Really, I was in a state of.. hmm.. I don’t even know how to explain..
Amy, her mother, sister, uncle and auntie, they were buried on the same night. After the funeral, me and Amal decided, Allah loves Amy more, while us, we still have our own incomplete journey. It was hard for us, and it must have been harder for her surviving family members. But life has to go on until such time when it is our turn to return to our Creator.
I may have told this story already, again and again, same time every year. Search back to my last year’s hari raya entry and you will find this same old story. Now here I am, retelling the same story again. It’s just that this memory will never fade as long as I live. I might tell the same story again the same time next year’s Raya, I’m just cherishing my memories of her, with prayers in rememberance.
When Ayu came into my life, she may looked like Late Amy in certain angle, she may have some identical characteristics in certain ways. Perhaps that made me fell so deep for this Ayu. But as time goes by, they are not the same person, they don’t look the same and they have completely different behaviours and attitude. Apa nya orang, ada imbas saja, but they’re not the same.
Semoga Allah mencucuri rahmat keatas roh Amy.
Al-Fatihah.
Hmm.. time flies by really quick yea. I felt like it was just few days ago that we started fasting and now it’s already the end of Ramadhan. The moon sighting will be held later today and if it is sighted it will be Raya again tomorrow.
Somehow I enjoy the serene and peaceful environment of Ramadhan. The shorter working hours, nice family gathering during sungkai, the terawih prayers, the occassional crackling of fireworks at night, etc. Owh and not to mention the never ending sungkai promotions at almost every restaurants in town, although I only managed to sungkai out 3-4 times this year.
As always, my raya this year will just be a simple one. Nothing big going on coz work will start to pace up by the first week of raya. And I will get to fly off here and there again. Just hope I don’t get to fly together with you know who yea. Fingers crossed.
May I take this opportunity to wish all my readers Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir bathin.
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