Cinta Is Love

Day by day work is getting boring. I’ve never been so bored about work like this before, selama ani I’ve always enjoyed doing what I do. But with the arrival of this new boss, things somehow became different, even my relationship with my colleagues seem to grow cold, except one or two yang sama frequency. I miss my old colleagues back at my old branch, and I really hope our reunion will be damn soon.

Last week I took a day sick leave. I wasn’t really sick though, except maybe ’sakit malas’. And I frankly told the doctor that I am stressed out and tired. So she gave me a day off and asked me to rest. If only she asked how many days I wanted, I could have asked for 3 days at least. And the next day, my colleague lagi report sick, and the next day nya lagi, another colleague reported sick. And I just hope one of these days my boss will realise how a horrible boss she is. Oh well, its Saturday today, and so far aman damai, no calls from my boss or from the office. And I hope this will continue until tomorrow.

I went online few days back when suddenly Ayu nudged me on MSN so I thought I’d just be kind enough to layan her for a while, say hi and all, for old time sake. Apparently it wasn’t her. It was her boyfriend. So we chat for a while, I don’t know if his approach was for the sake of being nice. At first we say hi..bla..bla.. then he started to talk about the Euro 2008 semi finals.. so yea.. me layan lah saja kan. Then it irritates me when he started to ask me questions like, lama sudah kenal Ayu? dari mana you kenal Ayu? selalu jumpa Ayu? selalu bermsg sama Ayu? all those shit! So I decided to ignore saja. Why don’t he asked his Ayu himself? Such an insecure prick! And you know what? His name is also Zul!!!

How would you feel if your boss called you up at 7am on a Sunday morning to do something urgent? Me, I am pissed. I am not a committed staff, I know. I am not paid well for that. I’ve been working on weekends for the past few weekends and I am beginning to hate it. I just can’t wait to move now, or else, I’ll find a new job. That hell place where I work is just purely HELL!

It was a relaxing morning today, deliberately I woke up at 7.10am. 20 minutes in the shower, 10 minutes dressing up, 5 minutes quick breakfast and off to work at 7.45am and nicely parked my car at 8am. A short walk in the cool morning. Ehh cool tia karang, it’s been humid and stuffy kali ah lately ani. And I was sweating profusely once I reached office. And worst, the aircon in our office is not working. Great! Just great!

But yea, I did my work, this and that, kinda busy but manageable. And at around 11am I took out my handphone from it’s pouch and found out there’s one missed call. Timestamped 8.05am, it was a call from..jeng jeng jeng… the winner of the Biscuit of the year award..  Ayu. Hmmm like when she’s not even a stint in my thoughts, suddenly ia timbul and entah apa kah anginnya miss calling me pagi-pagi buta. But I am definitely sure it’s something to do with work. Mesti tu! I might be assuming but I know very well people like this. Well, suck it! I never bothered to respond though, coz I’ve got my own things to do. Hmm banar kan. Udah behajat baru tah timbul! Otherwise, me ani macam inda exist. I’ve had it with so-called “friends” like this. Oh well, human nature, people tend to forget when they’re on high clouds, sudah susah diri jua dicari. Kan kan…

Ok looks like I am really going to move to the old branch, my boss told me and there was no objection. So I guess it’s just a matter of time now, but until I see some papers, I’ll just put the celebration on hold for now. Come to think of it, chances of bumping into Ayu once I move back will be fat. But hey, I can see my sis Cute Little Hana more often jua, More lunches with her, perhaps we can talk about her upcoming engagement.

I just pray the move will be a.s.a.p. I heard they kinda need me back there urgently. Looks like a heap of files gonna wait for me on my old desk. Heh! My old desk, my old pc, must be just the way I left it about 6-7 months ago. Must be kinda dusty by now. Next week I’m gonna have lunch with my ex-colleagues who’s going to be my colleagues once more.

Looks like I’m gonna go back to my old workplace, of course with a better offer, but the only concern is whether my current boss is willing to release me or not. I hope so, I’d love to go back. I still feel comfortable with my previous colleagues, not that I’m saying my current colleagues are not good though, with the exception of one or two. Oh well, I better not be too excited about it, coz for now I can’t say if it’s really going to happen or not.

That day I met Cute Little Hana during lunchtime, after ages we didn’t see each other. We had a little catching up session, so I told her about the offer to go back to the old branch. She raised a little concern, what if “luka lama berdarah kembali?” Meaning, if I go back, I might bump into Ayu again. Well, even with my current location pun, I still bump into her once in a while right. But for the past 2 months, nothing, nada, zip, nil! It’s better that way! I don’t even know if she’s still around or not, but I’m sure she still is.

Bottomline, I’d love to go back. Please pray for me people!

I was listening to my mp3 player when I came across the song Saat Kau Pergi by Bunga Citra Lestari. Memories suddenly came flashing back to 27th November 2005. The day that Late Amy died in a car crash. She was 19, just 3 more days before her 20th birthday. Everything still seems like yesterday, her face, her cute sleepy eyes, her smile, her giggles, her laughter, all which I will never see again, except for some photos of her which I still keep in my pendrive.

It was hard for me, hard for Amal, but it must have been harder for her surviving family members, losing 5 family members at once. How I wish it was not true, I couldn’t believe it when I first heard the news from Amal. Amal cried all the way in my car when I picked her up from work that day, while I hardly speak a word. But we had no choice to to accept the fact.

I know there was something going on between me and her, but things get complicated and we didn’t talk for some time. Until the eve of Hari Raya that year, just few weeks before she died,  I sent sms greetings to my friends including her. Basically all Muslim friends in my phonebook. I didn’t expect a reply from her but alas, she was the first to reply. And I still and always remember her reply,

“Zul, ku kan maaf dari hujung kaki ke hujung rambut pasal inda betagur sama u langsung. Selamat Hari Raya.”

I replied, “It’s okay Amy, lupakan tah apa yang sudah2. Friends?”

“Yea, friends!” she replied.

And we made peace amidst the recital of the takbir on that serene and holy night. And when our friendship started to rekindle and flourish, it was time for her to leave us forever, all of a sudden. But then, death comes without a warning, no matter where we are and what we do.

Life has to go on ain’t it? We can’t be sad forever. After all Allah loves her more, nice people are usually taken early. I do miss her at times, especially when hearing to the song. All that’s left are her photos, her many poses, grins and smiles, showing how cheerful and lovely girl she was. Those smile I will never see again, but I know she’s smiling down on us from above.

Have I told you that my Cute Little Hana found herself a new boyfriend? Ok yea, she found one, after her previous boyfriend left her just like that, suddenly disappearing only to be caught with another girl. Cute Little Hana was kinda devastated that time. Udahtah kena tinggalkan, kena marahi lagi tu uleh her mom. Poor Cute Little Hana, she was like confining herself in her room and i was glad I was there to chat with her and cheer her up.

Ok now that she found herself someone new, someone better. They’ve been dating for.. hmm a month or two I guess. And the guy seems to be for real, well, Cute Little Hana has always been for real. Now I don’t know if I should tell this or not, I am just so excited about it. Cute Little Hana told me she’s getting engaged soon, I mean yea, she’s really getting engaged soon. Ain’t it a happy thing to tell? Heheh. I can’t wait to see her on her engagement day. I am just so terribly excited about it and I can’t wait.

When she told me about this new guy some time ago, I told her that if he ever mess with her, I’m gonna beat him up, seriously. I know it’s a primitive thinking but yea, seriously I don’t want people to mess around with her anymore. I am so happy for my Cute Little Hana, she’s been in unsuccessful relationships before, men has been fooling around with her, but she’s a very strong girl despite her petite size. She still kicks ass, Cute Little Hana kali ahh…. adi siapa jua kan! Haha

I don’t mean to be on this hiatus for so long, but hey here I am!

At last I let out my piece of mind to Horny Momma. I told her that what she did, all her feelings for me, etc. it is just so wrong. I feel for her husband and her family. I told her I just want to be friends, not more than that. Somehow she accepted everything and took things nicely. I know I’ve had affairs with someone else’s fiance before and hell no I’m not gonna have an affair with someone else’s wife. It is just so damn wrong! That’s one thing settled.

Nothing much during my hiatus, except I am recovering from my 38 degrees Celsius fever and I had to take sick leave for the first time in 5 years. See, I’m a committed worker kan? And with the workload I am doing, both my real job and my part time work, I had to buy a new laptop, so basically I am sitting in front of 2 laptops on my desk. Ain’t it cool? Huhu! And owh! There’s are ants marching on my desk, I don’t know where the hell they came from. Payah jua manis ani eh :p

I went for dinner at this restaurant tadi, it’s this one restaurant which was a subject of much controversy few weeks back. So I ordered Roti John, and this waiter delivered my order to my table and he suddenly put off my drooling appetite just like that. Why? He stinks! Big time! Hangit yo! Man this restaurant gotta do something about their staff hygiene. Not only their service was kinda slow but having a waiter like that attending customers is such a big tarnish to their reputation. I’ve had unpleasant experiences from this restaurant before anyway, the reason why I dropped by was because it was the closest restaurant with wireless internet I could find earlier. Hmm.. another strike off my list!

Other than that, as you all are aware, the major cyclone in Myanmar and the big earthquake in China. Just a little reminder that our world is getting older.

Hello people. Apparently Horny Momma is on vacation so yea, things seems to be kinda peaceful at work. Aman damai dan permai! Hahah! I can roam freely without having to bump into her. Seriously, I just don’t feel its right. I do love adventures, and yes having an affair with a married woman is indeed an adventure! But heck no, it is nothing but stupidity. And I am well aware that the world is round, what if someday my wife is doing stuffs behind my sorry ass! Adventurous of course, gimme jungles to tread, mountains to conquer, but not some horny scandalous mother.

I remember she told me, she didn’t get the attention and passion she needed from her husband. Hmm.. now where have I heard this before? Just like another Ayu story isn’t it? In fact whatever chemisty she have behind her household doors is purely none of my business. Next week she will be around, oh God! Help me!

I didn’t tell Emma about all this, not that I wanna hide things from her, but she’s got a little bit of poor anger management plus a considerable amount of feminine bravery. Definitely she won’t hesitate to come to my workplace and spit her venom to Horny Momma. I just don’t want to create a scene especially at my work place. Everything is up to me, how to handle unwanted seduction!

Horny Momma spilled the beans, she said she’s in love with me. Reason? Coz she like my openness, kindness, bla bla bla. I guess its sometimes not right to be nice yea. I was like..Ohhhh…. my…. God! Speechless! Out of words! I just don’t know how to reply that email. When I thought I could get rid of Ayu by moving to another branch, I was wrong. In fact I am running into something worst. Horny Momma is in the very same building, just one storey away, in fact with regards to job, we deal directly. Well the easy thing is to ignore and just do things professionally. But I just don’t want to see her, I had to evade and find the right time to enter or leave in order to avoid from bumping into her.

Ada-ada saja bah dunia ani. Payah jua hensem ani ah! Hahaha! I told that to Cute Little Hana and she said, “Abang siapa jua kan.. haha”.

Aku stress, ntah lah macam2 ku stresskan. So many ‘F’-ing things. Life is getting complicated. Very very very the complicated. Maybe I’m just tired, suffering from sleep deprivation. Macam rasa hyper ada jua. Maybe coz I’ve been drinking 3 cup of coffee since this morning. Ntah lah, I just don’t know what to express right now, argh! F!

I’ve been working like a dog for the past 2 weeks, no weekends plus extra hours. But for last Saturday and Sunday, I spend most of it sleeping, compensating for the sleep deprivation I suffered for the past few weeks. Our team is decreasing in number with some of my colleagues got transferred to other sections, that left us with multi-tasks and that idiot Rusty not doing anything about it.

I don’t even have time to spend with Emma, being a career woman, she’s also busy with her tasks. Some of my friends have been bugging me to join them for their almost daily dinner hangout, but I’ve been extremely busy. Oh well, it’s not easy to make a living yea. I know I’m kinda stressed out with so many things lately. My temper is short although I am quick to handle it, I hope.

Another thing, ani yang mahal ni nah. At work, there’s this one horny momma who keeps on emailing me whenever she feel bored. Ok lah I don’t mind a friendly conversation but as we chat along, she started to call me ’sayang’, hmm racun racun! Then she went to another level by starting kinky topics like sensual massage, sexual positions, sensitive parts, etc. Ok, frankly, I am a man, a man loves being naughty, I mean who doesn’t right, especially for a normal person with healthy sexual desires. But but but.. she’s a mother of 3 kids for heaven’s sake. Somehow that turns me off big time. At least it hasn’t crossed my mind to have an affair with a married woman even though I am well aware how thrilling scandalism could become, owing to the fact that it is the ‘in’ trend nowadays.

Apparently, I wasn’t the only one. She also chat up one of my male colleagues the same way. He just cut it short, he stopped replying any of her emails, which I think I should do the same. She’s just a cockteaser after all, I wonder why on earth is she doing that. What’s her motive? Just another Ina I guess, only realising she is not happy after her marriage.

Oh well, dunia…dunia…

I stumbled upon this blog, so check it out for yourselves. If you have something to confess, something to let out of your system, there’s the place, you can do it anonymously. I don’t know if I have any confessions myself but I thinkI’ve let out everything here in my blog.

I’ve read through some confessions in it and believe me, there are just lots of things going on out there.

You know it really pissed me off when a superior asked me to do something, draft a report to be exact, and end of the day they became unhappy with what I did for them. So yea, I boggled my brain and out came something which I am sure it met the required standards. But then this superior complained about this and that, atu salah ini salah. So I just said,

“Tell you what, why don’t you just do it yourself if you know what you really want!”

She just chuckled, I hung up the phone. She is a superior allright, but like I care, I don’t report to her anyway. Really, I’m tired of working with jokers like them. Most of the people who ran the show at my workplace are sickening, self-centered and egocentric. Thinks highly of themselves, not to mention apple-polishers. Doing suck up jobs even if they have to rub horse-shit to their own faces, you can imagine what they do to their subordinates when they even dare to become scapegoats themselves.

Oh well, I know I just pissed with a lot of things around me! Especially with people like Ayu, who only need me when she needed assistance on work related stuff. Other than that, I don’t exist in her life. People like Ina, who keeps on bugging me, saying she sayang me and miss me and all. Hmm I wonder whose face she imagined when her husband boned her at night. LOL! And furthermore, I remember she once mentioned that we cannot see each other, just comm through MSN or phone. Like WTF?! Even if she’s very single, what kind of relationship is that? Baik ku becinta sama telepon kan! Oh well, human being with their million and one behaviour.

Tina called me yesterday to inform me that she’s leaving the organisation to join another company. Her last day will be tomorrow. Awwww that’s sad right? Just when we’re starting to develop a friendship, it has to be cut short. Oh well, we’ve exchanged phone numbers so yea, we still can keep in touch. Furthermore her new company is just across the road. Of course we still can meet up for lunch or something kan hehe.

Had a long talk with her during lunchtime yesterday plang, found out that she’s already engaged. heheh! If she’s gone, there won’t be anymore sunshine I can see in this building, especially at times when work and the pricks gets on my nerve.

I’ve got a lot of work to do actually, not my office work, but it’s my business work. Basically I’m working the whole span of the 7 days a week with only 6 hours of sleep every night. My eyebags are getting heavier, if the bags were filled with gold-dust, I’d be a millionnaire by now. So yea, that’s one of the reason of my lack of updates, but now here I am, sparing few minutes to let out and talk with my fingers.

Now let’s talk about this new boss of mine. Rusty is a dork, geek, nerd, whatever you wanna call it. We somehow came from the same level although I am few years senior than him in the corporation. When suddenly he was entrusted with power, things sort of changed. He’s not the Rusty we used to know, even his walk changed, chest up floating in the sky. See how power change people. He gives instruction without diplomacy. Really! Membari kan menampar. If it was back in the schooldays, such a dork like him, ku kerajakan sudah ni belakang kantin. He’s the reason I am not looking for another week in hell especially having to see his face and that thick glasses.

Remember Ina? The girl I used to have affair some two years ago, that was before I met Ayu. Now she’s married with one kid, and guess what? She contacted me and said she miss me bla bla bla… still syg u..bla bla bla… I was like WTF?! And she said she still wanna be with me but with one condition, only on phone or MSN, we cannot see each other! Another WTF! Baik tah becinta sama telipon nah! Oh well, not worth my cent. Ini macam punya orang mun masih ada ini dunia punya dalam!

I’m really really sorry for the lack of updates. It’s not that I do not have any stories to share but it’s just my career. Although I’m slowly blending in with my new colleagues, one thing we gotta cope up with is our prick boss Rusty. Yea I’m saying his name coz he’s getting on our nerves so I gotta let it out! You see how people change with power and money. I’ve been working with a lot of Caucasian guys and they were all nice and fun to work with. But Rusty, he’s one big pain in the neck, running things to his own interest, likes to assert his power and never listen to our feedback. I am still in my patience right now but one of these days, if he’s not careful, I will explode and I do not care what will be the consequences!

Oh well, remember I mentioned in the last post about that pretty girl in the building? Heheh! Her name is Tina and lately I’ve been dealing work with her a lot. We haven’t got the chance to get to know each other, our relation is purely professional. She doesn’t talk much I guess, except for that sparkling sunshine smile she always threw at me everytime I passed by her office. And everytime she need something from our office, she would always look for me. I guess it’s better this way, nothing wrong sort of admiring someone’s beauty and keeping it to myself, except in this blog and to you readers of course. Lagipun, I don’t know her background at all, her age, her relationship status, where she lives, etc. Pokoknya, just by looking at her face, I feel soothed from the temper pandemic caused by Rusty. Heheh! Don’t worry guys, I might be naughty, but I don’t cheat. I hope!

I guess everybody knows about the pau with pork enzyme story! Hmm baik jua ku inda berapa suka makan in that restaurant, don’t wanna mention the name though, but I guess you all know. Yea it’s never a favourite for me, coz the service is always slow. But what they did with the pau is so unacceptable. And I don’t know whats their motive. Hmm, pada siapa2 yang pernah termakan, may God forgive them, it’s not their fault anyway, bukannya durang tau kan. And to the restaurant, I hope you do something about this although I know it’s too late for recovery.

Sorry for the lack of updates lately people. I feel like I’ve been working 7 days a week. Just when I am beginning to enjoy working with my new colleagues, some prick up there suddenly broke up our team for their own benefit. Leaving my section slowly crumbling due to insufficient manpower. Oh well, mana saja kamu lah. Pricks!

Today I took one day leave, so I switched off my phone supaya inda kena call dari office. I hate that, really! Especially when I needed my weekend for a good time. My hiatus will carry on until Sunday, coz I know there’s gonna be some sort of an event this Sunday and I want to avoid that. Not because Ayu will be there or whatever, I just don’t want to attend it. All those pricks will be there!

By the way, there’s this girl at work, lawa ani bah hehe! Don’t mean to be gatal or whatever coz for me Emma has got everything I want. But this girl, lawa bah. hehe siapa inda suka tengok orang lawa kan. I can only admire her beauty quietly, we haven’t talked much though, except a quick introductionary and a few talks about work. Ok that’s it, melarat karang! LOL!

I was sending a text message to a friend yesterday when actually I sent it to the wrong number. I only realised my mistake when that person replied my text,

“Sapa ne?”

“Owh sorry, aku salah send, sorry once again.” I replied.

“Jangan main2 wang ah! Jgn msg sini lagi! Ku report polis krg” that chap replied.

WTF! Ok, I know it was my mistake, but hey! I did apologised, case supposed to be close no? But that prick inda mau2. Hmm malas ku kan melayan. I could have make things bigger but I was in my best of mood yesterday.

Oh well! Sad to say, some people around us only have negativity and violence in their minds. They think problems can be solved with their fists. What a shame!

My legs hurts. It was Maulud on Thursday so I went lah. Its not every year I participate in such events. And its proven that I really need to regain stamina. Kalau dulu kan, kalau setakat bejalan 5-6 kilometers atu, boleh tahan tu. Bukan cakap besar. But I’m just not good in climbing, but on flat surface, give it to me baby! Well, that was before. Yesterday, baru jua 4.3 km walk around the capital pun pancit rasanya. Darn! I think I should go back to the gym, i.e. if I can still find my way! Heheh!

Apart from that, my week has been an uneventful one. Work, seeing geeky faces everyday, occasional dinner with Emma and late night chat with Cute Little Hana. Us being full of crap as always, but yea I always enjoyed chatting with her. Emma, being a career woman herself, she would go home and sleep after her long day at work. So yea I don’t get to see her often.